In an interview with Army SGT Philip Romero about the invisible wounds of war, he told the USO that it’s difficult to explain complex wartime emotions to his wife.
Romero suffers from post-traumatic stress. “My wife asks me … ‘Why don’t you talk to me about it?” he says. “How am I supposed to tell my wife that I’m sorry I didn’t die and two younger guys could have made it home? How do you explain that?”
Romero’s silence and bouts of anger are not uncommon in military marriages, particularly those where a spouse is dealing with PTSD.
“There is a level of stress on wounded warrior couples that seems ten-fold what a normal marriage bears,” said Noel Meador, Executive Director of Stronger Families, creator of a marriage training program called Oxygen.
A military couple learn to communicate more effectively at a recent Oxygen Seminar
The USO recently teamed up with Stronger Families to provide the workshops free to wounded, ill or injured troops. It’s a way to tackle tough issues in a non-threatening environment.
Stronger Families coaches work with groups of about 25 couples, teaching them practical skills for improving communication, resolving conflict, rekindling romance and finding new hope.
“The ability for a spouse to empathize is tremendous,” said Meador, “and that’s really what we’re trying to reinforce… If we can help give couples the tools they need to communicate how they are feeling, we can help them attain a mutual understanding of the problem and work together to diffuse the anger safely. Eventually couples can come up with an action plan to move forward in their relationships.”
In partnership with Stronger Families, the USO hosted three Oxygen seminars last year and plans to host six more this year. The workshops are held near military hospitals, warrior transition units and wounded warrior battalions. - Joseph Andrew Lee, USO Staff Writer
Fort Drum, NY, is one of the MANY post that deploys over and over and over. I think this would be a great thing offered here. It says, “The USO recently teamed up with Stronger Families to provide the workshops free to wounded, ill or injured troops.” – I think they should do it as a marriage class or other type class. Those that “Aren’t” wounded, ill, or injured, or WON’T admit it, would be more willing to go and hear this. Just saying!
Leanne,
Thanks for your feedback! I’ve passed along your suggestion to our programs organizers and our Ft. Drum center director!
Please let me know how I can help too!
Garrick Pang
Associate Director
Stronger Families
garrick.pang@strongerfamilies.org
Great idea. I know it would be particularly useful here at Ft. Hood. Is there a follow-on program locally after the seminar?
It is vital to get help for the combat survivor and their family to cope with all of the adjustments and effects of deployment and returning home. My parents did not get the help my father really needed with PTSD and my mother was absolutely in the dark as to what to do. As a result, my parents split up and we all suffered a great deal because of it. My children have missed a grandfather, too because of it. The devastating impact of not addressing wartime trauma is felt for generations by everyone in the family. Please try to get help. Drugs and drinking are not the coping answer. They are a trap. Addressing the problem head-on is the best and most straight-forward choice.
Leanne, please call your local USO chapter to see if we can make this happen. Call me if I can help! Garrick Pang -Associate Director, Stronger Families 206.229.3355